|
|
|
RSS
![[Masthead]](http://www.lovelycitizen.com/images/nameplate.png)
|
|
Fair ~ High: 70°F ~ Low: 52°F Friday, May 24, 2013 |
|
|
These are the Days of Our Lives
Posted Wednesday, June 13, at 4:51 PM This warning just filed in the Belated E-card Forum: Dads, get ready. Your tie collection is about to expand by at least one. ... Yes, that ubiquitous gift is about to cross another Father's Day off the calendar of life. ... So here we dads sit, sandwiched between National Hollerin' Contest Day on June 16 and International Panic Day on the 18th. ...
Old Farts drink $4 Margaritas at Chasers-film at eleven This just in from the Old Farts Department: Someone noted the age of the crowd shuffling into the auditorium during the Blues Festival and quipped, "They must be checking IDs at the door to make sure everyone is over 50." ... That's okay, perhaps all the young 'uns were over at Wakarusa. ...
Unreal reality What will we do without that classy broad Lisa Lampanelli now that Celebrity Apprentice is over? It was pretty much train-wreck compulsive watching her bully that poor beauty queen (who really was one, and jealous Lisa ... well, not so much). ... And how can we live without the fine example of Aubrey O'Day running the entire show no matter who was project manager, taking credit for absolutely everything (including the invention of toilet paper, I assume) and generally badmouthing everyone else's efforts while congratulating her triumphs in a megalomaniac fantasy. ...
The beat of a different drum Angelo Yao made a pretty good pied piper getting the crowd of art lovers from Basin Spring over to the new Art Wall on Saturday. I guess that would be a pied drummer if you wanted to be specific. ... Anyway, if you haven't checked out the Art Wall, do it before all the panels get sold. ... I hear one got scooped up only an hour after the exhibit opened...
City Council. Either it's no end of amusement or the end of all amusement. ... Not sure which, but now we need to have drawstrings on yellow bags for the elderly? ... Are we pushing the Mayan calendar to its logical conclusion or what? ... I have nothing against the city council, I just find the new mix, er, well ... interesting. Time will tell...
Y'all doin' okay??? There's a fresh new bunch of wait staff working in town for the summer season. ... That means lots of happy faces to send back to the kitchen or the ladies room or out back or wherever they go in tears because they asked me "Y'all doin' okay?" one too many times in a five minute period...
Motorized Toilets?? Really? By now I'm sure you've all heard of the California man suing BMW claiming the seat on his 1993 motorcycle gave him a 20-month erection he just can't shake. ... He's suing for the usual -- lost wages, medical expenses, emotional distress (!) and general damage. We could all sue for that, eh? ... All we're saying is, "Prove it."...
Big Brother Facebook If you're one of those folks under the mistaken impression Facebook doesn't know exactly what you're doing every minute, then I have a bridge in Brooklyn to sell you. ... No sooner had I suggested to my Facebook audience (I figured they'd both see it sooner or later) that we all celebrate Earth Day by driving our SUVs down to the local dump and making plastic bag kites -- lo and behold! -- instantly the right side of my profile page or wall or whatever they call it this week was filled with the likes of the following advertisements: "Kite flying and Windsurfing Destinations," "Learn to kite on the beautiful waters of Cape Hatteras," and a few sports bar ads with kites either in the title or listed as activities along with wet T-shirt contests. ...
Don't sever this Artery Been hearing a lot about the CICA Music Festival lately from a few people who are volunteering to help get the massive festival up and running. GM is pretty stoked that the Eroica Trio has signed on for this year and the cellist has offered to be permanent strings faculty next year. ...
Books in Bloom Books are blooming a little early here in town -- along with everything else. No less than three book signings coming up, and, according to my black dog Jake, each tome is well worthy of shelf or coffee table. ... Despite having her laptop stolen by some skulking cur, June Westphal, along with co-author Kate Cooper, managed to get her latest book on the history of Eureka Springs (City of Healing Waters) into print. ...
Sideburn Cutting Contest?? Well, it's not exactly a Klondike Bar, but I can think of a lot of things I'd do to have a stake in that $640 million jackpot some lucky people just won. ... Everything except buy a ticket that is. .... So, Zarks has a new owner, Sallie Overbey. ... ...
Connect the wiggling dots It looks like a good time was had by all out at the Kite Fly at Turpentine Creek last week. ... Have to hand it to 8th grader Hanna E. for paying attention to her microscope in science class. She identified the tails on one of the kites as looking like "wiggling sperm." Nice to see kids observing the patterns in life. ...
Constitutionally speaking The problem with a democracy is, everyone gets to vote .... Like the guy interviewed by a reporter last week in an exit poll, who said Obama should never have been elected "because the Constitution says both parents have to be born in the United States and his father was born in Kenya." ... ...
Cooking the Ozarks Here's an interesting call for help that got lodged in the inbox of the Department of Things that Go from the Ridiculous to the Sublime - and Back. ... It seems the Travel Channel's program producers have reached out to the Northwest Arkansas Tourism Association for help locating interesting people and ideas for a show in the "Ozarks" (generally termed) ... ...
This just in from the Department of Useless Eulogies--As a Canadian, I'd like to say a few words in remembrance of winter's passing: Snowflakes. Snowshoes. Maple syrup taffy. Skis. Frost. Snowmobiles. Ice skating. Woolly caps with ear flaps. Snowball fights. ...
Government Insufficiency Heard Jed Bullock was inducted into the Arkansas Hospitality Association's Hall of Fame in Little Rock Monday night. ... How do I know? I was there. Why? It was at the Clinton Presidential trailer, fer cryin' out loud. Hillary wasn't there ... she was busy trying her best to keep the world from blowing itself up because of crazy men who all think their camera lens is bigger than the guy's in the next trailer, er, country...
Wanted: Sense of humor A little befuddlement floated in this week on the wings of the Annals of the Anonymous when someone thought they'd help us by correcting the Citizen boilerplate. ... For those who don't know, boilerplate refers to the tough steel used to make steam boilers and became a medium into which standardized text was stamped to be used by newspapers -- the modern equivalent being the boilerplate, or "boiler," a paragraph or two that describes the company and its products. ...
Say what?? Where's Richard Nixon when we need him to "make everything perfectly clear" as he was so often wont to do? Life can be confusing enough without people talking like they have a mouth full of mush. ... Case in point is a friend of mine who lives out in the country being stopped in her front yard by a guy in a pickup who asked about a Pit Bull on the other side of a nearby garage. ...
Better Late Than Never? Some interesting tidbits in the hotmail mailbag this week. ... Our friend BG has a -- shall I say sarcastic? Oh yeah -- response to one of those corporations, er, excuse me, cooperatives, that want to be treated as people: ... She says, "Wow. I see that Carroll Electric Cooperative (the UNcooperative coop) Corp. ...
Damage Control So, I guess pot brownies are off the lunch menu at the high school, eh? ... What the heck were these kids thinking anyway. Pot at school? What a waste of a good high. ... Oh uh...er...I mean shame on them! But seriously, ninth graders? Granted, it was a looooong time ago when yours truly was in the equivalent of ninth grade, but we had other pursuits. So did our parents -- like paying attention to where we were and what we were up to...
|
Hot topics These are the Days of Our Lives(0 ~ 4:51 PM, Jun 13)
Old Farts drink $4 Margaritas at Chasers-film at eleven
Unreal reality
The beat of a different drum
Blimey, is the spare in the boot?
|
Read more
Post comment
Browse comments
![[Feed icon]](http://www.lovelycitizen.com/images/icons/feed-icon-14x14.png){kind=icon}