Y'all doin' okay???

There's a fresh new bunch of wait staff working in town for the summer season. ... That means lots of happy faces to send back to the kitchen or the ladies room or out back or wherever they go in tears because they asked me "Y'all doin' okay?" one too many times in a five minute period.

I appeal to restaurant owners and managers: please educate staff. ... If people are engrossed in conversation or happily reading a paper and have everything they need on the table, leave them alone. ...Conversely, if people have empty coffee cups or are looking around the room and not eating, ask if they need something or if there's anything you can get for them ... but do not, do not constantly interrupt people with, "Y'all doin' okay? ... Y'all still doin okay?" every time you pass the table. ... Stop it!

First of all, it's too existential an inquiry. My shrink should ask how I'm doing, not my server. Forget my state of being and use your eyes. ... Ask if I need more coffee if my cup is almost empty ... or how about "Can I get you something?" if I appear to be looking around for help.

Perhaps people are just so used to texting that it's impossible for them to pick up on human cues. ... One young thing stepped up to a table where there was an animated conversation over full plates of food and brimming cups of coffee and asked, "Y'all doin' okay?" People were so intent on the conversation they didn't answer. The clueless server kept on asking - a little louder each time, ignoring the obvious and finally forcing everyone to abandon, and never recover, a really good conversation for no reason.

How about this -- a tip ratio on an inverse scale with the number of times the inane and irrelevant phrase, "Y'all doin okay?" is unnecessarily asked at the table.

Y'all doin okay with that?

Meanwhile, if you need more coffee or if I can get you anything, email me at oliverdeplace@hotmail.com.