In 1812, Arkansa, as spelled then, was a District in the Territory of Missouri. As far as locating Arkansa on any map of that era, the best notation would have been scrawled, "Here Be Dragons."

  About 45 miles from today's northeast boundary line is New Madrid, Mo., platted in 1789 at a horseshoe bend of the Mississippi River. At 3 a.m. on Dec. 16, 1811, folks were thrown from their beds in what is recorded as the worst earthquake in modern history, a speculated 8+ on the Richter Scale.

  On Jan. 23 and Feb. 7, 1812, two others of 7+ followed. Eyewitnesses said the land sunk 50 feet in some areas, sulphur-ladened gases spewed from cracks in the earth and the Mississippi River, damned by an uplift, flowed backward for two days. During major events, "the earth was in continual agitation, visibly rolling as a gentle sea."

  "I have heard of no white person being lost as yet -- Seven Indians were swallowed up; one of them escaped; he says he was taken into the ground the depth of 100 trees in length; that the water came under him and threw him out again -- he had to wade and swim four miles before he reached dry land. The Indian says the Shawnee prophet has caused the earthquake to destroy the whites."

  In Arkansa the land sunk 15 to 20 feet in places, destroying the St. Francis River's channel and creating the St. Francis Swamps, as well as the Sunken Lands between Lake City and Marked Tree. Over the next year there were at least 1,800 smaller quakes. Periodic ones followed for several more years.

* Richmond, Va., Dec. 16, 1811, 3 a.m.: "There were three successive shocks. In one of the most elevated houses of the city, bells, both above and below, were set a ringing."

* Charleston, S.C., Dec. 16, 1811, 3 a.m.: "A severe shock of an earthquake was felt. The vibrations of St. Phillip's steeple caused the clock bell to ring."

* Annapolis, Md., Jan. 23, 1812, 4 a.m.: "a severe shock of an earthquake was experienced. The steeple of the State House, 250 feet in height, vibrated at least 6 or 8 feet at the top."

* Feb. 8, 1812, 4:30 a.m.: New York Evening Post: "a smart shock of an earthquake was felt. During the last two months, this city, and every town in the U. States to the southward of us, have been visited with one or more earthquakes."

  Had enough? Not so fast. Geology Department, Southern Illinois University: The New Madrid Seismic Zone averages about two to three earthquakes a week. Most are never felt.

  In 2040 there's a 90-percent chance of a 6.0 quake.

  Now, exhale slowly. You are getting very, very sleepy. Forget this article. Have a nice day.