Bill Earngey

Okay, it's winter. Truly. You're beginning to gnaw on the bones of gossip. And, not only can you see your neighbor's house, you can see your neighbor in the house. Your first thought is, "I never liked him anyway."

  Obviously, it's time for a road trip, but can you afford one? Sure.

  Here's the plan: Cassville, a Missouri town platted in 1845 that's approximately a 120-mile round trip, about seven gallons of gasoline. Wait for a semi-sunny day and pack a big picnic lunch.

  Take SR 23N to the Missouri line. Turn left on Missouri SR 86W, and drop the hammer. On the way to Cassville, you will see a sign for Roaring River State Park. The hatchery there has remnants of the 250,000 annual trout population. Open Sunday through Monday; catch and release.

  Depending on your rate of speed, you might see Thrill Hill, a stretch of SR 86 that climbs directly to the horizon line and then plunges nearly vertically back to Mother Earth. Be careful not to launch.

  In Cassville search for anything resembling a 1845 structure. Give up? Head for the Cassville Natural Bridge. It's set about 25 feet above Natural Bridge Hollow Creek.

  The bridge is 160 feet long with a 50-foot span and a 30-foot ceiling. You will probably get lost, but hey, it's a road trip. From Cassville: SR 76, E 4 m.; SR 86, S 3.65 m.; forest trail, 0.1 m.; left fork, 0.5 m.

  Frustrated? Try O'Vallon Winery, est. 1986; dry and semidry wines. Tours and Tasting. From Cassville, SR 37, S 6 m.

  Last chance. Crystal Caverns. Open since 1924, it's supposedly among the top 10 show caves in Missouri, the state that claims to be the Cave State (more than 5,000 caves). The temperature is always 54 degrees; 40-minute guided tours. From Cassville: SR 37B, N about 0.6 m.

  Remember, getting there is half the fun. Getting nowhere can be all the fun.