Out of Arkansas

While not a dark continent, Arkansas has no illuminated reputation.

Geographically we're the state somewhere above Texas. Economically, our motto is "Thank God for Mississippi." And as a people we even describe ourselves as Arkansans, like maybe we are Kansans, instead of Arkansawyers.

Most people don't know that Arkansas has everything any other state does, except an ocean, and we're working on that.

We've got: mountains running north-south that nearly collide with ones running east-west; prehistoric Indian ruins; a diamond mine; an extinct volcano; the third longest river in America; and a 5.1-square-mile area containing the world's richest concentration of valuable minerals.

Down south the landscape at sunrise looks like African grasslands. At sunset, grain elevators stand back-lighted in blazing colors like medieval castles under siege. Wild weather on these flats can suck the spots off a pig, rain shrimp, and download frozen ducks from 20,000 feet to your doorstep.

Up north, there are rivers ­ big, small, fast, slow, straight and curly that cut through rocks, hollows and narrow valleys. There are sinkholes that can swallow you whole, and forests so thick and quiet you can hear ticks dropping through the branches.

Politically, we could sum up our attitude as "I wonder what that little button does." We're a conservative state that has elected some of America's brightest liberals to Congress, while knowing in our hearts that Elvis is alive and NASA didn't put a man on the moon. Recently we helped know-nothing outsiders spend $50 million dollars to try to un-elect our state's only U.S. president.

Our progress since statehood in 1836 can be traced by state mottoes: The Bear State (We shot'em all.); The Wonder State (Where'd them bears go?); The Land of Opportunity (We restocked the bears.); and The Natural State (Is this a Bear State pun?).

Having started as The Bear State and mutated to The Natural State it's no wonder that out-of-state truck drivers take every opportunity to stare down at us to see if we're naked (Say nay~kid.). A word of caution, don't drive with a folded newspaper on your lap.

Collectively we aren't self-conscious. Where else can you find town names like Smackover, Greasy Corner, Figure Five, Umpire, Okay and Natural Dam?

Who else could be proud of a state capital named Little Rock? Little Rock. Why not Big Rock, or Top Rock, or even Pretty Rock?

Understated, that's what we are. Understated, unknown, and unconcerned about both. Folks who worry about our image need to get a grip, or a suitcase.

Remember, Arkansas is only one state away from the geographic center of America. We're just a little off center. Thank God for Kansas.