Best of the Beat

1:03 a.m. -- A man reportedly hit a deer on US62, presumably with a motorized vehicle.

Saturday, Dec. 22

3:22 p.m. -- A patron of a S. Main St. bar who was enjoying a little hair of the dog was bitten by one, according to hospital officials.

Monday, Dec. 24

4:20 p.m. -- 'Twas the night before Christmas and the only thing stirring at a US62E bank was a false alarm.

Sunday, Dec. 30

5:27 p.m. -- "A kid was tailgating another motorist" near Lake Leatherwood City Park and received a stern warning.

Monday, Dec. 31

8:29 a.m. -- A large dog was reported at large near Prospect Ave. and Crescent Grade.

12:08 p.m. -- The operator of a US62E convenience store preferred cold cash to a hot check offered by a customer.

Sunday, Jan. 6, 2008

10:31 p.m. -- "A drunk woman keeps calling 911 to complain that the bars will not serve her any more alcohol."

Tuesday, Jan. 8

8:15 a.m. -- A US62W gift shop operator was pained by vandals who shot out some of his windows.

Saturday, Jan. 12

2:12 a.m. -- Police helped a disoriented caller determine her true location.

7 a.m. -- A Pine St. resident informed police about a body stuffed halfway under a vehicle and officers discovered the subject was just a mannequin and took no official action.

Tuesday, Jan. 15

3:44 a.m. -- An officer thought there was something suspicious about a "report of two almost-nude ladies knocking on a patron's door asking to use the phone" but when he arrived at the US62E lodging "they could not be found nor could hotel personnel be reached."

Saturday, Jan. 19

6:49 p.m. -- The mayor informed police that a truck ascending Planer Hill was unloading metal piping as it went.

Thursday, Jan. 24

5 a.m. -- An officer told a man with a blanket stumbling around at the intersection of US62E and Hwy. 23S to "go home."

8:15 a.m. -- The animal control officer took custody of a dog on Martz Cir. which was described as "small, black and aggressive."

Friday, Jan. 25

10:39 p.m. -- An intoxicated person was arrested in the woods near Wall St. after coming in third in a foot race with two officers.

Sunday, Jan. 27

2:23 p.m. -- Traffic was snarled when B.B. King's tour bus wandered down Emporia St. and became stuck.

Monday, Jan. 28

2 p.m. -- An officer was unable to locate two boys reportedly riding tiny motorized scooters of questionable legality on Planer Hill.

6:18 p.m. -- A caller from a Pivot Rock Rd. residence told police there was something suspicious about a man outside her dwelling with a knife.

Friday, Feb. 1

11:18 a.m. -- An officer was unable to locate a white pickup reportedly pulling a person on a toboggan on the Historic Loop.

Saturday, Feb. 2

7:27 p.m. -- A woman calling from a S. Main St. bar complained she couldn't locate her car, but remembered where she'd left it before an officer arrived.

Monday, Feb 4

4:19 p.m. -- An officer spoke with a shopper pushing a grocery cart along US62E and was assured the cart would be returned to the store.

Tuesday Feb. 5

11:54 p.m. -- After an Emporia St. resident reported a prowler pounding on the exterior of her home, an officer spoke with the subject who was determined to be knocking on the wrong dwelling.

Monday, Feb. 11

5:14 p.m. -- A US62W lodging facility operator complained to police about "two subjects having intimate relations in their car."

Friday, Feb. 15

11:25 a.m. -- A woman told police about a suspicious vehicle near the intersection of Spring and Mountain Sts. which she said was "moving slightly, without a driver."

Friday, Feb. 29

1:47 p.m. -- Police were asked to investigate a person apparently dumping trash behind a US62E fast-food franchise and discovered an employee of a nearby bank dumping leaves on bank property.

Sunday, March 9

4:23 p.m. -- The owner of a Benton St. inn told police someone stole signage valued at more than $500 from her property but called back later to add that either a contrite vandal or an anonymous Good Samaritan had returned the signs.

Thursday, March 13

6:53 a.m. -- A caller at a N. Main St. residence told police there was something suspicious about a man who walked very slowly down the street and quickly disappeared.

Monday, March 17

1:17 p.m. -- A van driver removed a mail box and a phone box at a Jay Ln. residence so he would not run over them with the van and promised to replace them.

Friday, March 18

8:50 a.m. -- ExxonMobil took another hit when a motorist stole fuel from a Passion Play Rd. station.

Saturday, March 19

7:10 a.m. -- Police were relieved when a Panda bear abandoned in the middle of Tower Rd. was retrieved by its owner.

9:05 a.m. -- A dog following a jogger was trotted off to doggie jail.

8:04 p.m. -- After a woman left a N. Main St. watering hole without paying her tab, the tavern owner tracked her to the parking lot and bashed her car, which prompted the wayward tippler to settle her arrears.

Sunday, March 23

6:25 p.m. -- A woman reportedly stuck in the turnstile of a US62E observation tower was able to extricate her body from the gate's steel jaws before police had to call for backup.

Wednesday, March 26

7:50 a.m. -- An employee of the Eureka Springs School District punched in the wrong code and triggered an alarm indicating the district's administration building was being held-up.

Saturday, April 5

6 p.m. -- Hate-filled, homophobic religious fanatics repeatedly parked a billboard-bedecked truck illegally on private property on N. Main St. against the property owner's and neighbors' wishes and police gave them the bums' rush.

7:47 p.m. -- Unknown subjects threw eggs at a US62E motel then scrambled away before the law arrived.

Monday, April 7

12:59 a.m. -- Following a complaint from a downtown hotel operator, police dissuaded two men from even dreaming about sleeping behind the Basin Park bandshell.

Tuesday, April 8

2:03 p.m. -- A caller at the library complained about being checked out by a "strange person."

Wednesday, April 9

8:01 a.m. -- A mildly belligerent Basset hound was reported prowling around Emporia St.

Tuesday, April 15

3:45 p.m. -- A caller complained about two preachers causing an unholy ruckus at the East Mountain lookout by screaming through a bull horn and a responding officer informed them about a local ordinance which says thou shall not use amplified devices to spread the good word.

Friday, April 25

12:44 a.m. -- It was an open and shut case when an officer was summoned to a US62W motel to close the door of a casually parked vehicle.

4:16 a.m. -- The operator of a Passion Play Rd. gas station asked police to remove a "large snapping turtle" hunkered down near one of the pumps and the responding officer escorted the beast "into the woods."

Sunday, April 27

12:42 a.m. -- The mother of an opportunistic boy who fished 36¢ out of the Basin Spring Park fountain was asked to retrieve her child.

2:49 p.m. -- Someone used an Ozark credit card to siphon diesel fuel out of a truck parked behind a US62E fast-food franchise.

Monday, April 28

12:30 a.m. -- The owner of dogs "barking all night" on Jordan St. was asked to keep the critters quiet after a sheep-counting neighbor complained.

5:35 p.m. -- A back-door alarm became unhinged at a US62W restaurant.

9:30 p.m. -- An officer filed a report about a Pivot Rock Rd. resident who was "kicking his dog at night to keep him quiet."

Wednesday, April 30

4:04 p.m. -- The owner of a laundromat gave police a security tape of a customer ripping off another customer's clothes.

Saturday, May 3

7:26 p.m. -- A frustrated motorist whose parked car was blocked in by another car on Center St. found release in kicking the tar out of the offending vehicle.

Sunday, May 4

1:46 p.m. -- Although hikers observed a naked person communing with nature, two officers were unable to find hide nor hair of the owner of clothing and keys found on a trail at Black Bass Lake.

7:58 p.m. -- A caller asked officers to check on the welfare of a nonagenarian Shelton St. resident and police reported the woman was fine, but very tired.

Tuesday, May 6

12:45 a.m. -- An officer responded to a neighbor's complaint about a loud argument in progress at a residence near the intersection of Pivot Rock Rd. and Dairy Hollow Rd. and discovered the people in question were not even arguing.

Wednesday, May 7

8:43 p.m. -- An officer responded to a report of a flat bed, 18-wheeler driver who was "unable to stay on his side of the roadway" on US62W and encountered a driver who was "extremely lost."

Friday, May 9

11:29 a.m. -- Rolling stones reported in the roadway on Hwy. 23N between the train depot and the sewer plant had gone missing by the time an officer arrived.

Sunday, May 11

4:48 a.m. -- After an employee of a downtown hotel complained about a man banging on the door trying to get in, an officer escorted the subject to a motel on US62W where his room was actually located.

6:15 p.m. -- On Mother's Day, a caller asked police to check on the welfare of his mother.

Monday, May 12

9:02 p.m. -- Prior to her arrest at a US62E restaurant, an "intoxicated female was screaming profanity at the hostess because all of her credit cards were declined."

Tuesday, May 13

8:36 p.m. -- Police were asked to schedule extra patrols of the courthouse to ensure that a delivery of expensive rocks were not molested.

9:07 p.m. -- Police notified the sheriff's department after "An intoxicated female called in to report an intoxicated male driving an old Chrysler New Yorker from Cliff St. to Hwy. 23S, Hwy. 23N or to Berryville."

9:11 p.m. -- Police decided not to go out on a limb after they investigated a report of a tree branch hanging in the Benton St. roadway.

Friday, May 16

6:36 a.m. -- A Hillside Ave. resident complained for nine minutes to an officer about a laundry list of grievances which included everything from a mail truck which drives too fast at 6:30 every morning to a dip in the roadway created by public works and advised police they should buy some donuts and eat them while waiting for speeders.

Wednesday, May 21

11:28 a.m. -- A "creme" vehicle creamed a sign at the intersection of Pine and Spring Sts.

6:35 p.m. -- Police investigated a report of a property dispute on Amity St. and were informed about a woman "attempting to move boulders to back gate with crow bar."

Friday, May 23

4:34 p.m. -- Several vehicles occupied by young people engaged in lively activity at the cemetery departed before police arrived.

Sunday, May 25

9:42 p.m. -- Police were unable to book an allegedly intoxicated man passed out near the library.

Tuesday, May 27

12:54 p.m. -- There was nothing funny about a false alarm triggered by an employee of a US62E amusement park.

Wednesday, May 28

9 p.m. -- Two officers responded to a report of a partially naked man apparently praying on the sidewalk near the foot of Howell St. and arrested a woman for disorderly conduct and public intoxication.

Thursday, May 29

3:30 p.m. -- A woman using the wrong finger to point at motorcyclists traveling through downtown apologized and said she "won't let it happen again."

Friday, May 30

8:57 p.m. -- A Vaughn St. resident complained about having to listen to Blues Weekend noise without going downtown.

Saturday, June 7

5:33 p.m. -- Yelling demonstrators carrying signs in the Auditorium parking lot were asked to pipe down while children were present.

Tuesday, June 10

11:45 p.m. -- The operator of a US62E restaurant told police two people were "trying to steal grease from him."

Wednesday, June 11

3:41 p.m. -- The operator of a downtown hotel complained about "trash and alcohol at night."

Wednesday, June 18

10:07 p.m. -- A caller at a US62E family center told police his ex-landlord was circling the vehicle he and his girlfriend were sitting in.

Thursday, June 19

4:05 p.m. -- A "little girl" reported a large snapping turtle in the roadway across from the police station and her family asked officers to trap the turtle in a large box and put it in the back of their SUV.

Saturday, June 21

4:49 p.m. -- A caller reported a traffic jam on US62W caused by a car "having problems going up the hills."

Sunday, June 22

3:08 p.m. -- "A snake would not move from the front door" of a US62W business, but "a passerby moved it to the woods."

Thursday, June 26

2:45 p.m. -- After a guest trashed a US62E motel room with vomit, motel management was advised they couldn't hold the guest's car hostage.

Friday, June 27

8:32 a.m. -- An irate customer at a US62E bank damaged a bank building with his vehicle.

Saturday, June 28

8:47 p.m. -- A palm tree was reportedly stolen from a US62W cafe.

Monday, June 30

5:25 p.m. -- Fire department personnel asked police for assistance with a possible overdose victim at a US62E motel who was determined to be in such a "fine" condition that he was arrested.