[Editor's note: Here for your reading pleasure is the best of the first six months of 2012's "Dispatch Desk," i.e., half a year's reminders of what a crazy town we live in and what colorful neighbors and visitors we live among. The second half will appear next week. Enjoy.]
3:36 p.m. -- A worried neighbor was concerned that the birds next door were being neglected. An officer sent along the report to the Animal Control officer.
8:47 p.m. -- A local called 911 to report that her son was intoxicated and had knocked off her hat.
12:55 a.m. -- A citizen told the sheriff that his ex-wife was screaming on the phone. ESPD checked out her reported location.
9:18 a.m. -- Someone stole a No Parking sign and a sawhorse from downtown.
8:23 a.m. -- A husband told ESPD that his wife called him to report a suspicious man with an "A" on his cap looking through the kitchen window. An officer was searching the area for anyone matching the description when the husband called back to report it was the telephone repairman.
2:26 a.m. -- The sheriff reported to ESPD that employees of a restaurant were hesitant to leave because a van had been parked behind their building for a long time. An officer responded and found no van or any employees at the business. Turns out the report to the sheriff was about a business by the same name in Berryville.
4:35 p.m. -- A concerned observer noticed that a motel was not open but the pool was still full of water. The building inspector will check it out.
9:34 a.m. -- A vehicle was driven into an ice machine outside a local business. There were no injuries except for the ice machine.
6:53 p.m. -- A driver complained that he had been pushed off the road by a pink limousine being driven recklessly along US 62. Officers did not encounter the distinctive limo.
12:09 a.m. -- ESPD was apprised of a fight at a local establishment downtown.
12:22 a.m. -- Another call in reference to the fight downtown. Now the person is reportedly going crazy at another establishment. Officers already at the other scene responded and arrested the individual.
12:40 p.m. -- Sheriff's office alerted ESPD to a young female calling 911 continually just to chat. Officer found the person and explained the purpose of 911, and the calls stopped.
9:32 p.m. -- Sheriff requested assistance from ESPD for checking on a report of loose cattle on a country road. Officer responded but encountered no wandering livestock.
11:22 a.m. -- A visitor in town said the person he came here with stole his bicycle and took it back to Mississippi. Officer filed report.
9 p.m. -- ESPD received a report of an individual first messing with doors at the high school, then in the middle of the road blocking traffic, then looking in windows of cars at the hospital. Officer arrived and gave the gentleman directions to his hotel.
2:58 a.m. -- A neighbor thought the banjo players nearby were playing too loud. Officers asked them to be respectful.
2:33 p.m. -- A citizen reported that someone broke a window of her vehicle and she wanted to file a report. She called back later to report that it was her husband who had broken the window. No report necessary.
12:45 p.m. -- While an officer was checking on a reportedly suspicious vehicle, the complainant realized that the vehicle was her neighbor's.
9:27 p.m. -- A business reported a person publicly urinating on an ice machine, but the desecrator was gone by the time an officer arrived. Don't eat the yellow snow. Sorry, had to say that.
5:21 p.m. -- A man with a history of being forgetful stepped outside for a smoke and wandered off. His family provided his description to ESPD. He was located.
9:30 a.m. -- Employee of a business reported that a reportedly intoxicated individual drove by throwing donuts, then called threatening to kill him. Officer took the report.
11:13 a.m. -- A restaurant reported that someone knocked over a container of rice. Officer advised them to keep it locked at all times and that ESPD will provide extra patrols in that area.
8:16 p.m. -- A curious observer reported a suspicious person in the cooler of a liquor store. Turns out the person was the stocker doing his job.
2:57 a.m. -- An observer downtown reported two couples appeared to be helping themselves to food at a restaurant. Responding officer discovered that it was the owner and his friends.
9:43 p.m. -- A security person for the UFO Conference reported that some people posed as press to gain entrance to the conference and then tried to sell something. The subjects were also possibly intoxicated, but they were not really bothering anyone. Officer advised the caller this was a non-issue.
1:38 p.m. -- Resident of an apartment complex told ESPD that her neighbor was coming into her apartment and switching cat food for dog food and leaving pine needles all about. Officer spoke with the two parties but was not able to determine if anything suspicious was happening.
6:09 p.m. -- An eyewitness reported a male and female indecently exposed and inappropriately behaving near an establishment downtown. Officer did not encounter them.
12:49 a.m. -- Driver told ESPD that a possibly intoxicated couple jumped in front of his vehicle while he was driving on U.S. 62 in town. Officers did not find anyone fitting their description.
7:24 a.m. -- Resident told ESPD that a man came to his porch and requested a shower, cup of coffee and a ride. The person then began to change clothes on the front porch. Responding officer spoke with the man and advised him of city ordinances regarding camping in the city and told him to stay off private property. The man said fine, he would just leave town.
8:35 a.m. -- High school requested officer assistance after teachers noticed a marijuana smell emanating from some of the students. Oops.
12:24 p.m. -- There was a vehicle/groundhog accident on Hwy. 23N. The animal did not fare well and was carried away for proper interment.
8:01 a.m. -- Resident reported that upon arriving home she noticed several of her books were missing. No one was at home when the responding officer arrived, and ESPD learned later that the resident's mother had picked up the books. No report necessary.
1:46 p.m. -- Complainant from an apartment complex told ESPD her neighbor put a sign on her door telling her to stay away. Caller considered that harassment. Officer talked to both parties and advised the caller that this was not a criminal issue and to please leave the neighbor alone.
4:24 p.m. -- A resident reported that a driver drove through his yard and over a trolley stop sign. An officer spoke with everyone involved and they reconciled.
3:42 p.m. -- A resident reported that her
ex-boyfriend keeps riding by on his bike looking at her with hate on his face. She is afraid he might try to break in. Responding officer did not locate the individual.
4:26 a.m. -- Guest at a tourist lodging complained of dogs barking for at least two hours at a nearby residence. Officer tried to make contact with the resident but no one was home. He noticed that the dogs were barking at an opossum trapped in a cage, and when he released the opossum the dogs stopped barking.
12:40 a.m. -- An alarmed observer reported a male running down Spring Street in his underwear. Officers never encountered anyone matching his description.
12:06 p.m. -- A witness reported seeing a woman cutting flowers at Harding Spring and place them in her bag. Police searched for but did not encounter her.
1:07 a.m. -- While on patrol, an officer discovered that the high school had been covered in plastic wrap, sticky notes and yarn, and all the trash cans had been moved to the center of the parking lot.
8:53 p.m. -- Caller alerted ESPD to a woman carrying a child in a burlap shoulder bag on Hwy. 23 South. Looked like she might need help. Officers searched for her but did not encounter her.
3:50 a.m. -- County Dispatch had received a 911 hangup call from an address in Eureka Springs. Officer who responded found that address did not exist but he patrolled the area and found everything to be okay.
10:11 p.m. -- Patron at a bar alerted ESPD of a disturbance involving a particular individual. When officers arrived, that person was gone but they were advised everything had been calm since Beatles music had started. Officers continued to look for the individual.
6:24 p.m. -- A resident of an apartment complained that individuals had come into her apartment in her absence, let a dog urinate on her carpet, and they disturbed her things. Officer advised her that no one had broken in so no report was taken.
2:16 a.m. -- Alarmed caller reported hearing possible gunshots, loud noises and screaming near Main Street. Officer who responded encountered two males who said they had been using a duck call and were being loud. Officer warned them and sent them home. Apparently no shots had been fired.
10:17 p.m. -- An individual claimed he went to his house after work and was kicked out by his girlfriend. He went back to get his shoes and he said she threatened him with a gun. The individual asked for officer assistance in getting his shoes. Officer responded and got the shoes and also learned that the individual had not been threatened with a gun but with a can of hair spray.
3:28 a.m. -- Resident near downtown saw two baby raccoons on a street, and a fox attacked and ate one of them. The other climbed a utility pole. The information was forwarded to Animal Control.
1:31 p.m. -- Parks Department got a report that someone was in Basin Park selling land. Turns out it was children rehearsing for a play.
11:32 p.m. -- Guest at a motel told ESPD that he had been threatened by a woman with a knife at a bar. Responding officer spoke with two people at the bar who said the caller got offended when he had been asked to leave.
12:00 p.m. -- Complainant told ESPD someone defecated on his porch and he thinks he knows who did it. Officer took a report.
4:25 a.m. -- A newspaper deliverer reported observing a house with the front door wide open, a window broken and lights on but no cars or people at the scene. Responding officers discovered that a woman had fallen into the window while mopping and everyone had left for the hospital in a hurry.
12:47 p.m. -- ESPD received notice of a disoriented woman in a neighborhood. She was carrying a garden gnome with her. Officer checked the area but did not locate her.
12 a.m. -- Church personnel reported hearing people walking on their roof and asked ESPD to check it out. Officers did not find anyone in the vicinity.
7:51 a.m. -- Guests at a tourist lodging reported a naked man on the roof of the residence across the street. No one was outside when officers arrived, but they advised the resident to put his pants on before he goes out in the morning.
3:57 p.m. -- Resident wanted to make a report about property damage and a problem with a neighbor. He said the neighbor drove by honking at 6 a.m. and his mailbox fell over. Officer told him there was not enough information to file a report for damage.
11:29 p.m. -- Employee at a downtown restaurant reported a male outside yelling at people and poking his finger in people's food. He was gone when officers arrived.