DISPATCH Desk: The Best of 2017

Wednesday, January 3, 2018

Jan. 20

12:45 a.m. -- A complainant advised

that he had not heard from his wife since

Wednesday afternoon and requested a

welfare check on her. Officers responded

and spoke with the wife. She advised that

she was fine and would contact her husband.

We haven’t heard from our ex-wife

in months now, and we like it that way!

6:56 p.m. -- An officer responded to a

report of custodian interference. Isn’t that

a 15-yard penalty?

Jan. 21

9:54 p.m. -- A subject was arrested

for driving while intoxicated, refusing to

submit to a chemical test and driving left

of center. Seriously, who wants to take a

chemistry test when you’re drunk?

Jan. 22

5:55 p.m. -- An area restaurant advised

that there was a female customer who

wouldn’t leave the property. Officers responded

and got the woman a taxi. This

happened to us once at a Chinese buffet.

Jan. 31

3:47 a.m. — A complainant advised

that she was awakened by a male dressed

in dark clothes running down the middle

of the street. An officer responded and

checked the area. A male subject was

found and arrested for public intoxication

and an outstanding warrant from the Eureka

Springs Police Department for failure

to pay and failure to appear. This is why

we don’t go jogging at 3:47 a.m.

Feb. 10

3:16 p.m. — An officer took a report of

an accident involving a vehicle versus a

house. We’re pretty sure the house had the

right of way.

Feb. 17

5:17 p.m. — A caller complained about

the neighbors letting their chihuahuas

run loose in the neighborhood. An officer

made contact with the owners. The dogs

were in their yard and supervised by the

owner. Cash us ousside, how bow dah?

March 16

2:32 p.m. — A property owner requested

to speak to an officer to report the prior

property owner attempting to take stones

off the property without permission. It’s

like they always say: Those who visit past

houses shouldn’t steal stones.

May 8

6:42 p.m. - A caller requested an officer

for assistance with a problematic raccoon.

An officer responded and located the raccoon.

There’s nothing worse than a problematic

raccoon.

May 10

11:21 p.m. - An officer responded to a

gathering of approximately 15 people on

Spring Street that could potentially cause

a disturbance. An officer stood by in the

area. We’re guessing it was a spontaneous

parade.

May 12

7:54 p.m. - A caller advised a male

subject urinated publicly in front of one

of their wedding parties in the parking

lot. An officer responded but did not locate

the subject. Sadly, this isn’t the worst

thing we’ve seen happen at a wedding.

July 7

1:45 a.m. — A caller advised that two

individuals were having sexual relations

on the second floor balcony of an area

motel. An officer responded but was unable

to make contact. No report was taken.

Which really is a shame, because we’d

like to read THAT report.

July 18

6:28 p.m. — A caller advised that her

soon-to-be ex-husband was calling her

from a friend’s number and she thought he

might be using some kind of machine to

show he was calling from another phone.

She advised he was also calling from a

private number, but she could not prove it

is him other than knowing his voice. The

caller was advised the information would

be logged into the system and an officer

would be informed to add it to his report.

We wonder why they couldn’t make it

work.

Aug. 4

4:13 p.m. — A caller advised someone

had trashed her apartment and she could

hear them in the building. An officer responded.

No report was taken. Someone

trashed our apartment, too, and now

they’re sitting on our couch watching

Netflix.

Aug. 25

10:13 p.m. — A caller advised her husband

was missing. He did not show up

at the hotel, she said, and his phone was

found on the ground at the hotel by a

friend. Later that night, the wife received

a phone call from her husband stating he

was in Joplin, Mo., and was getting a hotel

room there for the night. We are certain

there’s a great story there.

\Nov. 30

1:50 a.m. — A disturbance occurred

at an area restaurant between a husband

and wife. When a third party tried to intervene,

he was hit in the

head with a bar stool. An officer responded

and requested dispatch to send

EMS. EMS responded, but the victim refused

treatment. All parties refused

to make a complaint. The husband involved

in the disturbance had left the

scene before arrival. At least